Quick Takes from the Drive-Thru

  • One lady came through the drive-thru during a downpour and didn’t turn off her windshield wipers. I got several facefuls of water before I managed to spit out a cease fire. 
  • One of my more funloving coworkers and spent a happy downtime whispering like Gollum into the headsets to each other from our separate domains within the kitchen.
  • I told my family about said funloving coworker’s diabetic cat who gets insulin shots on a specific schedule and everything. Clare thought the cat’s name was Diabetic Cat. If I ever own a cat, this will be its name, but only a select few will know because I will normally call it DC. 
  • The day after a bad storm/tornado ripped through the area and took out the power of a large swath of northern St. Louis, I clocked 12.43 hours at the drive-thru. One coworker described me as being “off my nut.” I hit a weird giggly numb state at one point. Never again. 
  • A lady came through with a spider on her window and refused to roll it down, forcing me to squash the intruder to keep my time down. She proclaimed my bravery and heroics as she paid me.
  • Did you know every drive thru worker you come across is on a timer? The time you spend at my window is of utmost importance to my manager, how my day goes, and whether or not I’ll ever get paid more than minimum wage. Every time you ask me for a side of honey mustard or an ice cream sandwich or change your turtle caramel milkshake to a red velvet milkshake at the window, one more of my hairs turns grey. Every time you order more than $15 worth of food…you are abusing your drive thru privileges. Seriously? You’re making me count 24 pennies? I guess you get points for actually having your money ready, but still.
  • Also, since when is it okay to be on your phone at the drive-thru window.
  • No, I’m not trying to memorize your credit card number. I’m looking at your name, because there are some great ones out there. (Best last name so far: Erp.) Other perks of my job include wearing a bowtie, the cute dogs who come thru in the passenger seats, taking out my unquelled rage on the unbroken hunks of ice, and the rare occasion of someone I know coming through. 

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