Every once and a while, some acquaintance catches me off guard and makes a comment along the lines of, “You’re the happiest person I know!”
And it catches me off guard, every time. All I can do is smile and make some sort of laughing noise.
What I really want to say is, “No. No, I’m really not,” in a rather dramatic way, with a piercing look upon my face that conveys other messages, such as, “I’m secretly an awful person” or “I’m secretly tortured” or “You don’t know me”.
Why can’t I just let myself be happy like everyone believes me to be? I track my mood, for health reasons, and I’m never more than an 8 out of 10. Why is that?